MUM I'M TRYING I REALLY AM !

If it wasn't for the profanity and the fact that my confessions here are contrary to how my parents raised me, I'd let my parents read this blog so that they'd know how much I've tried to find a guy. I don't think my father is bothered by the fact that I'm single as much as my mum was. I say 'was' because she already gave up on me.


Her advise to me earlier on when her hopes were high was ,"Find a muslim man". I used to date now and then and when I told her I was seeing someone, she'd always ask ,"Is he muslim ?" Later when she realised how long it took me to jump from one date to another she'd say "If he's not muslim we'll persuade him to convert."

Now she's just happy to hear that I'm dating anyone regardless of skin colour or religious affiliation. I love my mum, I really do however, I'm secretly happy she's sort of given up on me ever finding a guy because no one knows what it's like to have her on your back. Thanks mum...maybe one day I'll surprise you with a tall muslim man. Insha' Allah (God willing)

You may not believe what advise my mum gave me next...please keep in mind that this is a loving African woman who has her daughter's best interest at heart. "You should not tell men you're a lawyer. Infact act dumb if they speak to you. Men always want to think they are smarter than women"

That's a dating tip my mom has advised me to use because she thinks I'm too smart for my own good and too argumentative. She's right on the last part. After all we only had about twenty arguments a day about the silliest things. Unlike I prefer to use the term 'debate' .

I hate dumb conversation. Especially if that dumb conversation is with a guy I'm getting to know. I love to be silly. God knows, I was the class clown in every academic year. However every now and then I think it's quite stimulating to have an intellectual conversation.

I'm not asking for much if I'm talking about general stuff that was in the news. I'm not asking you to name the chief of my village or tell me what HIV is in full. Even though knowing the later would impress me for multiple reasons I don't care to mention.

So I'm at the end of this post and am wondering what was the aim of this post again? Hmmm...don't really know but I'm missing my mum so I'm going to call her right now.

Valentine's Day !

It's Valentines day otherwise known as Vagina day.I say this only to see how you'll react but more so because I believe most people give it up on this day internationally more than any other day. I could be wrong but who cares I just want to sound gross for no particular reason at all.

Most people are excitedly waiting for their dates to pick them up. Those in long term relationships are wondering whether this is the day he'll propose....aah to be in love. I don't even know what that means anymore.

I on the other hand have marked the seventh year of not having a valentine's date since I started dating way back in Africa(when I was 20). Technically it is eight years because the first valentines "date" I had was when I was twenty and my best friend (who I had a huge crush on at the time) asked me out an hour before the date. He spent the entire night drooling over my best friend ,therefore anyone with a spark of dignity in their blood stream wouldn't count that as date but we're talking about me here and I'll be dammed if you take away that little joy of my first valentine's day also known as 'what-the hell-was-I-thinking-dating-that-guy".

I woke up knowing that I have a deadline on a subject matter I have no business dealing with. You see, my boss thinks I'm a good writer. She came to that conclusion after reading another blog of mine(trust me,it wasn't this blog). So she came up with the "bright" idea that I should write the company's business plan and gave me two days. Problem is I didn't know most, if not all of the business terminlogy and I have until this evening to come up with a comprehensible business plan, devoid of any legal terminology and swear words (those two are what am good at).

Well I hope everyone is enjoying their valentine's day. For me it will be the day I got stuck with writing a freakin' business plan.

Love Postponed

I haven't been on another date since last week. My priorities seem to have changed. I promise to take it easy on the dating scene (not that I have any other choice) and hope that with the coming of spring, my luck will change.I have decided to concentrate on applying for my masters degree outside the country and as of late I have been busy writing my C.V (resume) and personal statement and tracking down references for recommendations. Sometime in May I will know my fate as to whether or not I got admitted for the Master programme in International Human Rights Law in Sweden.

At the moment, getting admitted to this university is more important to me than finding a boyfriend. Chances are I would not get past the first date with the guy yet I would bust my ass in this programme to earn that degree. Yes dear readers,if luck is on my side you may see me arguing cases against humanity and putting the likes of Saddam Hussein behind bars.

And you thought lawyers weren't human!

I guess spoke too soon!

I went out on my date on Friday. I had been looking forward to this date more than ever because the guy was smart, cute and funny. He called to tell me he'd be a half hour late because his meeting ended late. Not wanting to let this ruin my night I said no problem. When he picked me up, he looked great. He was a inch or two shorter than me but I wasn't going to let that shallow part of the "old me" take over.

We walked to the salsa place and he realised he didn't have any cash but just his credit card. He wanted to walk and find an ATM but it was cold and I didn't wnt to wait outside or walk with him to find the ATM so I opted to pay.

He felt a little uneasy and offered to pay me back. When we got inside he realised that we'd have to get drinks and he insisted that he should go get money but I wouldn't hear of it so I bought the drinks. We had a great time and he drove me home.

He told me he'd broken up with his girlfriend a couple of months ago and wasn't sure what he wanted. He then asked me, " Are we friends or are we dating?"

I was dumbfounded. I hardly knew him. Granted I had had a a couple of laughs but that didn't mean we were going to have the "relationship" talk that fast.
Wait a minute- isn't that the most dread question that girls ask guys after a couple of weeks of dating ?

On the drive home he told me he had four roomates, that he was struggling and was going to sell his car. I also learnt that one of his close friends is a girl who hates me (but he doesn't know that). What were the odds of us having a "friend" in common? More so one who doesn't like me?

Despite all this I had a nice time because I appreciated his honesty. We've talked on the phone but nothing flirtatious. He says he wants to pay me back for the money i spent on the first date even though I told him to forget about it.

What do you know? I'm back to square one! I'm like the dumb girl who won't graduate from dating course 101. My dates never seem to go anywhere. We either become friends or we never talk again.