It's raining Men

To my dear readers, this is the longest I've gone without writing. For those of you who have been following my crappy love life, you may have presumed right- I had just about given up on ever finding a guy. However, before you all jump with joy thinking I've found 'the one', I want to clarify that I haven't (and if you actually thought I did, then I am disappointed that you haven't realised how pathetic my love life is that I actually have to have a blog dedicated to that issue). But I'm back in the game (or so i think) for I have so many dates lined up that I may actually need an assistant just to keep up with them.

It all started on Friday at a Fashion show I had just done. A cute guy walked up to me and we started dancing. I must say he was quite taken by me. Unfortunately he lives more than three hours away and I don't think a long distance relationship is something I'm looking for after along spell of not dating.

On monday I went out on a date with a guy I'd been talking to online. He'd described himself as obese and I was reluctant to meet him but I thought, it's this kind of shallow thinking that has left me relationship-less for along time. So meet him i did and boy was i surprised! Not only was he well dressed, he was fit and in shape which took me by surprise. We had a drink and talked a little and a second date is in the works for saturday.

This Friday I will be going out with another cute guy. I met him online too but this isn't one of those dating sites. It's a community site with postings of upcoming events in the area. Let's just say we started to write to each other and now we have plans for salsa this Friday.

I hope this streak of luck holds for a while otherwise I'll have nothing interesting to blog about. After all there's only so much time a girl can devote to whining about relationships or in my case the lack of them.

Watch this space!

GOOD BYE!
My friend is leaving for New York today.He is shipping out for three months and I don't think this could have come at a better time. Sure I'll miss him but I'll hopefully move on from the drunken stupor I have been living in. I really thought what we had would grow into something.

I talked to him last night and it was as if our "friendship" meant nothing to him. He talked about how much he hated the U.S and that he'd like to move to South America. He said all his friends were either getting married or moving away and that he felt abondoned by them.
All I could think about was "I really mean nothing to this guy." He wasn't saying that he'd miss me.Why am I the girl guys run too when they need to talk or have a good laugh? Why can't I be the one they want to date?

I just wished I'd not given him my number the night I met him. I know that I wouldn't have enjoyed the time I spent with him but it would have been okay. The saying ,'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" doesn't make sense to me. Granted I didn't fall in love with 'my friend' however, I grew very fond of him and to me not having known him at all would have been much better than the feeling I have right now. But then again,this is the story of my life.

MY 'Friend' Falls Sick!
My 'friend' was supposed to come by my house to pick up some c.ds and copy them for my work. He however changed his mind saying that it would take a long time and he wasn't feeling well. He'd developed some sort of cold. So I asked him to come to the house even though he was half way towards boston. I'd bought him food and something to drink thinking he'd be hungry when he stopped by.

He came back and he looked horrible. I felt guilty for having been stern with him on the phone when he said he wouldn't be able to copy the c.ds. He sat down and I felt his temperature. He had a fever and so I got a wet wash cloth and put it over his head. I had to do this several times because the wash cloth kept on getting warm from the high fever.

He rested his head on my shoulder and I stroked his hair. I wanted him to feel that he wasn't alone. He'd taken care of me when I was sick and alone on Thanksgiving day by bringing me a plate of food. To many that isn't much but to me it meant a lot.
I rubbed his feet and kissed him on the cheek and I could sense he was so comfortable because he was beginning to dose off.

He reluctantly got up because he had to move his car for my roomate to park and he decided to drive home. I called him a couple of minutes later to see whether he got home alright and he said he did. He thanked me for taking care of him and I said "I'd do anything for my sick boy".

SUNDAY 1st jan 06 -Are We dating or not?
My 'friend' called me and we went to watch a movie. After that we went to his house and he made dinner. He said he had nice time with me and he wondered why we'd never hang out in a club before. I almost told him that's because all the time he said he was coming, he wouldn't show up. He said we should do this more often.
We went to bed and started to fool around. Then he said," we've been crossing the friendship line lately". We should decide whether we are friends or we're dating" . My heart sank. I knew he was right. Then he tapped me and said are you listening? I said yes but I don't want to talk about it. I feared that if we had that talk at that particular moment I'd get hurt and I'd want to go home immediately.
He said I was making him nervous with my silence and that I should say something.He said he'd never done the "friends with benefits" relationship and I told him that I had done it before and that I wouldn't want to do it again.

He said he didn't want to hurt me. I felt that if I chose the dating option,I'd be selfish...this guy was clearly not over his ex of two years and I'd be doing myself a disservice if I dated him. Plus I felt that he should want to date me because he feels a certain way about me and not because of a default groping or sexual encounter.I'd want a guy to be excited about me which I didn't feel that he was.I didn't want him to settle for me."I'm better than that", I thought to myself.

I kept quiet and he said solemnly," I like what we have here and I don't want to hurt you".
We didn't make a decision. I guess how we act after this will be define what we both want .

FRIDAY NIGHT !!!

My 'friend' called me a couple of times asking me what I was going to do Friday night...if you've been following my blog,you'll realise this was the same day he'd come to my work to have lunch with me. I told him I was probably going to stay in.

However,later a couple of my friends asked me if I was going to do anything and I thought why not...maybe I should go out to GYPSY Bar. So I called my pal Dana and asked her if she'd go with me. She said yes and I had to figure a way to get to downtown Boston that didn't involve taking a $40 cab ride.

I called my 'friend' to let him know that I'd be going to GYPSY and he told me he'd give me a ride if I wanted to. I didn't even have to ask. I invited him to join Dana and I if he wanted and he hesitated. I wasn't in the mood to beg a grown man for his company so I asked him to drop me off.
Instead he drove to his house and asked myopinion on what he should wear.I was getting impatient. All I wanted was to get in the bar/club. We picked Dana up and went to said club albeit for a couple of minutes. We ended up at Saint.another popular hotspot.

My friend was flirting with me the entire time. Not so much with words but with body language.He was stroking me at every chance. He kept on feeding me with olives and at one time he asked me to close my eyes and he fed me with a cherry. I think part of this came from all the attention we were getting from other guys. He kept on saying how lucky he was to be amidst two beautiful girls.

At the end of the night we dropped Dana home and he was disappointed that he had to take me back to my house. He asked if he could come in and use the bathroom and I said yes. He grabbed me and kissed me.
I must say we must have kissed each other passionately stopping only for a couple of seconds just gasp for air. We must have done this at least three times in different parts of the room. Each time we'd stop and say good night and then we'd grab each other and go at it again. He led my had to his nether regions...I guess he wanted me to feel how hard he was and I must say he was pretty hard!

I told him he had to go because I had to work the next day and he must have been nervous or something because he shook my hand and said "good night".
I called him a few moments later and asked him about the dream again and he said it was "sexual". I could sense that he was a little uncomfortable. He asked me if he'd been rude to me because I'd 'kicked' him out of the house. I said he hadn't been rude but I had to work the next day. We said good night and I fell asleep.