Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Booty Call Dilema...

It's come to my attention that while many things can be scheduled a booty call isn't one of them. For example making an appointment to go to the dentist or to go on a date with someone are normal things to do, but does anyone ever set up an appointment to have sex? Perhaps the reason why booty calls are done on a whim is the excitement of the doing something at the spur of the moment.

For the longest time I've been getting calls from a one "Monsieur" asking me to sleep over and the timing has never been right, forget the fact that I have not found myself in a position vulnerable enough to warrant any desire for meaningless sex with a one time acquaintance. I feel that if i'm going to have a booty call, I should feel as excited about getting that call as the person making it. I have not found myself in such a mood yet. For all I know ,it may never come at all.

This has made me think, "have I lost any remaining form of feeling sexual or otherwise? " At my age the probability of my being virgo intacta virgo intacta are as high as my getting married tomorrow, so we'll rule out the idea that am saving myself for a respectable gentleman on my impeding wedding night.

I need to make peace with Arphrodite. To get back my sexual desire at least even if I'll have to wait for someone I really like to act on it!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Marriage Proposal

I was on a date with a tall handsome black guy. He was well mannered, polite and the date was going great. I couldn't help but wonder how such a 'perfect' guy could be single. Just as I was about to ask him that "cliche" question he begged me not to leave him,ever.

I remember being very flattered considering it was just the first date. Then I asked him what he was so afraid of since he had a lot going for him. He told me he was desperate to get married and that he had to get married or his parents would disown him. At that point he got on his knees and asked me to marry him.

I was disappointed that he wasn't asking me to get married because he thought I was a great person. He was only asking because he had to marry someone. I knew the right thing to do was to turn down the proposal but I secretly didn't want to let this handsome guy slip away just like that. My head was thinking, "You're never going to find someone that great who'll ask you to marry them that fast."

However, the better part of me declined the proposal and when I saw him a week later. He was with some short, ugly and sick looking girl who I mistook for a relative or friend. When I asked him who it was, he introduced her as his wife and said, "I had to marry someone" . His parents stood by his side with a smile on their face. He wasn't smiling.

My phone rang and I woke up. I realised it was just a dream after all. I know its silly but I can't help but wonder if the handsome guy in my dream actually exists in real life ! Maybe I should be thinking about what this dream is trying to tell me.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Single Status Update

My idea of fun lately has been hanging around my girlfriends and dancing till the club shuts down and then going home alone sans any phone numbers. Last Saturday was no different. Save for the part where a friend of mine stopped to introduce me to two of the most boring looking men I've ever encountered!

Don't get me wrong. They weren't ugly but they weren't cute either. They were just "blah". I don't know if that's even an adjective but it explains the feeling I had while I was shaking their hands. Needless to say I don't recall any of their names but one of them seemed to have taken a fancy to me as he kept on smiling at me.

My mind was fixated on his protruding stomach and thinking ," why is he even talking to me when I'd rather be dancing to Shakira's "hips don't lie" ? He must have read my mind because he crawled away to a corner and I thought I'd seen the last of him. Boy was I wrong! He tried to grind against me with his protruding stomach everytime he saw me dancing. I ended up changing rooms!

There are some nights when I'll be happy to get any attention from just any guy who is average looking. This wasn't one of those nights. I was concentrating on dancing to every song I liked and this night they played many of those songs where you don't want anyone to interrupt you unless ofcourse he comes with the body and face of Blair Underwood and his best friend makes Denzel washington look like a joke.

Of course there were no Denzels or Blair Underwoods. Infact Boston seems to have the likes of Danny Devito and Jerry Seinfeld at best. What's scary is that most of my friends look up to me and call me to find out what's new on the dating scene. This is a consolation in itself as it reaffirms that at 28 i'm not the only single woman on planet earth.

When I recollect how I made the transition from 'happily single' to 'scared single' I can't help but blame it on T.V and the other part on society itself. 'Sex and the City' or 'Number 1 single" are just a couple of shows that depict women of 35 years or older looking desperately for men. This triggers the "I don't want to be that woman" factor. The truth of the matter is I'm scared of marriage and with school looming at the back of my mind, I can't see where a boyfriend would fit in this picture.

Yet I still think it's "the right thing" to do.

Single status update ? You guessed right- still single!

Friday, February 17, 2006


If it wasn't for the profanity and the fact that my confessions here are contrary to how my parents raised me, I'd let my parents read this blog so that they'd know how much I've tried to find a guy. I don't think my father is bothered by the fact that I'm single as much as my mum was. I say 'was' because she already gave up on me.

Her advise to me earlier on when her hopes were high was ,"Find a muslim man". I used to date now and then and when I told her I was seeing someone, she'd always ask ,"Is he muslim ?" Later when she realised how long it took me to jump from one date to another she'd say "If he's not muslim we'll persuade him to convert."

Now she's just happy to hear that I'm dating anyone regardless of skin colour or religious affiliation. I love my mum, I really do however, I'm secretly happy she's sort of given up on me ever finding a guy because no one knows what it's like to have her on your back. Thanks mum...maybe one day I'll surprise you with a tall muslim man. Insha' Allah (God willing)

You may not believe what advise my mum gave me next...please keep in mind that this is a loving African woman who has her daughter's best interest at heart. "You should not tell men you're a lawyer. Infact act dumb if they speak to you. Men always want to think they are smarter than women"

That's a dating tip my mom has advised me to use because she thinks I'm too smart for my own good and too argumentative. She's right on the last part. After all we only had about twenty arguments a day about the silliest things. Unlike I prefer to use the term 'debate' .

I hate dumb conversation. Especially if that dumb conversation is with a guy I'm getting to know. I love to be silly. God knows, I was the class clown in every academic year. However every now and then I think it's quite stimulating to have an intellectual conversation.

I'm not asking for much if I'm talking about general stuff that was in the news. I'm not asking you to name the chief of my village or tell me what HIV is in full. Even though knowing the later would impress me for multiple reasons I don't care to mention.

So I'm at the end of this post and am wondering what was the aim of this post again? Hmmm...don't really know but I'm missing my mum so I'm going to call her right now.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day !

It's Valentines day otherwise known as Vagina day.I say this only to see how you'll react but more so because I believe most people give it up on this day internationally more than any other day. I could be wrong but who cares I just want to sound gross for no particular reason at all.

Most people are excitedly waiting for their dates to pick them up. Those in long term relationships are wondering whether this is the day he'll propose....aah to be in love. I don't even know what that means anymore.

I on the other hand have marked the seventh year of not having a valentine's date since I started dating way back in Africa(when I was 20). Technically it is eight years because the first valentines "date" I had was when I was twenty and my best friend (who I had a huge crush on at the time) asked me out an hour before the date. He spent the entire night drooling over my best friend ,therefore anyone with a spark of dignity in their blood stream wouldn't count that as date but we're talking about me here and I'll be dammed if you take away that little joy of my first valentine's day also known as 'what-the hell-was-I-thinking-dating-that-guy".

I woke up knowing that I have a deadline on a subject matter I have no business dealing with. You see, my boss thinks I'm a good writer. She came to that conclusion after reading another blog of mine(trust me,it wasn't this blog). So she came up with the "bright" idea that I should write the company's business plan and gave me two days. Problem is I didn't know most, if not all of the business terminlogy and I have until this evening to come up with a comprehensible business plan, devoid of any legal terminology and swear words (those two are what am good at).

Well I hope everyone is enjoying their valentine's day. For me it will be the day I got stuck with writing a freakin' business plan.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Love Postponed

I haven't been on another date since last week. My priorities seem to have changed. I promise to take it easy on the dating scene (not that I have any other choice) and hope that with the coming of spring, my luck will change.I have decided to concentrate on applying for my masters degree outside the country and as of late I have been busy writing my C.V (resume) and personal statement and tracking down references for recommendations. Sometime in May I will know my fate as to whether or not I got admitted for the Master programme in International Human Rights Law in Sweden.

At the moment, getting admitted to this university is more important to me than finding a boyfriend. Chances are I would not get past the first date with the guy yet I would bust my ass in this programme to earn that degree. Yes dear readers,if luck is on my side you may see me arguing cases against humanity and putting the likes of Saddam Hussein behind bars.

And you thought lawyers weren't human!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

I guess spoke too soon!

I went out on my date on Friday. I had been looking forward to this date more than ever because the guy was smart, cute and funny. He called to tell me he'd be a half hour late because his meeting ended late. Not wanting to let this ruin my night I said no problem. When he picked me up, he looked great. He was a inch or two shorter than me but I wasn't going to let that shallow part of the "old me" take over.

We walked to the salsa place and he realised he didn't have any cash but just his credit card. He wanted to walk and find an ATM but it was cold and I didn't wnt to wait outside or walk with him to find the ATM so I opted to pay.

He felt a little uneasy and offered to pay me back. When we got inside he realised that we'd have to get drinks and he insisted that he should go get money but I wouldn't hear of it so I bought the drinks. We had a great time and he drove me home.

He told me he'd broken up with his girlfriend a couple of months ago and wasn't sure what he wanted. He then asked me, " Are we friends or are we dating?"

I was dumbfounded. I hardly knew him. Granted I had had a a couple of laughs but that didn't mean we were going to have the "relationship" talk that fast.
Wait a minute- isn't that the most dread question that girls ask guys after a couple of weeks of dating ?

On the drive home he told me he had four roomates, that he was struggling and was going to sell his car. I also learnt that one of his close friends is a girl who hates me (but he doesn't know that). What were the odds of us having a "friend" in common? More so one who doesn't like me?

Despite all this I had a nice time because I appreciated his honesty. We've talked on the phone but nothing flirtatious. He says he wants to pay me back for the money i spent on the first date even though I told him to forget about it.

What do you know? I'm back to square one! I'm like the dumb girl who won't graduate from dating course 101. My dates never seem to go anywhere. We either become friends or we never talk again.